by chubicheekzparin | 07:56 PM | stickied

Disclaimer:

I don't own this layout, it belongs to up4grabs (I think?). As a matter of fact, I just downloaded it from their site! (this is silly, but needs to be done. haha.) Anyway, if you want one like this, you can go to their site (www.up4grabs.tabulas.com) and just get one. Easy, I know! Just don't forget to put a link back, or else.. haha.

(I really don't want my name up on the wall of shame. lol.)

by chubicheekzparin | 06:14 AM

I'm so tired. Ayoko na, I just don't want to feel anymore, kaso my stubborn heart says otherwise. Ang sakit sakit parin, and ang tagal dumating ng numb part.

It's one of those moments where I tell myself, I TOLD YOU SO, ABI, kaso I was just too stubborn to listen. Hindi naman sa nagsisisi ako, mali, kasi I have no regrets, pero sana lang merong fastforward, o kaya skip, para hindi ko na kailangang maramdaman yung sakit.

Ang hirap pa kasi we're friends, and no matter how much I stay away, sya naman ang lumalapit. I can't go so far kasi parang everyday naman kami nagkikita. For some reason, kahit tinataguan ko na sya at iniiwasan, nagkikita parin talaga kami. (Nakakainis, di ba?)

Sinabi ko na sa kanya to play fair, kasi ang hirap magmove on when someone's holding you back. We even went through the whole closure thing (without the awkwardness) kaso ang labo nya. Naiinis talaga ko. Minsan, like kahapon, hindi ko na malaman kung ano bang nararamdaman ko, nasasaktan ba ko kasi andyan na naman si M, o masaya ba ko for M kasi ok na ulit sila?

Ngayon nga, nagttype lang ako, pero pakiramdam ko, hihimatayin na ko sa bilis ng heartbeat ko. Pero feeling ko naman, kapag hindi ko 'to na vent out dito, baka mas malala pa ang kalabasan. Nagpapasalamat na nga lang ako na kapag magkakasama kami, nakaka ngiti at nakakatawa pa talaga ako ng totoo. Pero sa bagay, hindi rin naman talaga ako yung tao na alam ng mundo na malungkot ako.

Hay. Bahala na nga. Mawawala rin 'to, sana. Ang kinakatakot ko lang yung sinabi ni J, "what if it doesn't go away?," grabe. Halatang depressed ako, paulit ulit nalang yung Not Meant To Be ng Theory of a Deadman.

I finally see, Baby we're not meant to be.

Theory of a Deadman - Not Meant to Be | music

by chubicheekzparin | 08:55 AM

Nasasaktan nako.

Ayoko ng nasasaktan, kasi madalas napapagod lang ako, and I don't wanna get tired, pero it feels like dun na naman 'to papunta. Malapit nakong umayaw, malapit na talaga.

Ang sakit, sakit na.

Iyaz - Replay | music

by chubicheekzparin | 06:10 PM

That's right. I hate missing you, but I love having you to miss. Grr. Today could've gone much better, but hey, it could've been worse too.

I wasn't able to go to school today to volunteer due to this splitting headache that I have (but I can still manage to type away my thoughts at the moment). Hay. I really don't know what to write. I miss you, I do, so much that it hurts already.

Lord, help meeee! Please.